When my child spiraled into depression, Frank taught me how to deal with the feelings that surfaced for me as a parent.  I suffered guilt, self-blame, and helplessness. I lacked the confidence that I could work through this.  When our kids suffer it is painful to watch and my feelings of helplessness made me physically exhausted.

I believed that it was my fault that my child was suffering.  If I was a better parent, this would not have happened.  This is what kept re-playing in my head.  I felt so bad for my child because, I could not make things better for her.  At the time I did not realize that she would have to learn how to help herself, just like I needed to learn how to help myself.

I became obsessed with thinking about all the failures in my life and I was sure that Frank would find something, some diagnosis that would explain what was wrong with me. He never did that.  What he did do was to help me change my way of thinking.  I became more aware of my thoughts and feelings and how to let some of them go.

I was not the type of person who was willing to admit to being depressed.  When I became depressed, I tried to be an expert at hiding it.  Watery eyes became “allergies”, runny nose, “a cold”.  My blank stares were due to a “lack of sleep”.

I stopped doing or feeling much of anything for weeks.  Exercise has always been a driving force in keeping me healthy and even this stopped.  I made up excuses why I could not workout, which actually made things worse.

My thinking became toxic because I kept focusing on all my failures.  I could barely get up some mornings and daily chores became overwhelming.  I found myself looking forward to going to bed.  When I was not sleeping, I was always on the verge of tears, no matter what anybody said to me.

I can’t say for sure if there was some methodology or treatment plan that Frank followed, but during each session we focused on what was going on for me, and I always learned something else about myself.

It may have been the assignments that Frank had me complete, or maybe it was the discussions we had.  He encouraged me to take the next steps on whatever issue we discussed.   It became clear to me that he had more confidence in me than I did.

He was more of a coach than a therapist and I think this helped my confidence because, our sessions became more about a skill I needed to work on and not about what was wrong with me.

I think what made therapy work for me is more about who Frank is than the approach he used.  He made it easy to talk about anything.  Finding the right therapist is the first step.  Then you have to build a trusting relationship.  I have always been a private person and spilling my guts is not comfortable for me.

Frank asked the right questions. And he was willing to share his own experience, he told the right stories to help me make sense of my feelings.  Each session we discussed an issue and talked about various ways to think about it.

The session may only last for forty-five minutes or so, but the affect lasted for days because I would continue to think about what he said.

He taught me some strategies to use when I lacked confidence or got sad.  My thinking now is completely different and I have much more control of it.

I have made so much progress thanks to Frank’s coaching style.  I have learned to focus on skills that need to be worked on and not put limits on my ability or let fear stop me.

I am much more confident and accepting of myself since I first started therapy with Frank.  It was like I fell into the same well of sadness as my child and Frank pulled me out.

-Anonymous