A need for arbitration or mediation implies that there is some sort of conflict.  In arbitration, the power to settle a conflict is given to a third party, the “arbitrator”, who listens to both sides, and decides on the settlement.

A mediator has no power.  The power remains with those in conflict.  They employ the mediator to help them find a resolution that both of them can agree with.

In my experience mediating conflicts, there is only one requirement for success, but it is a big one.  Both parties must be so invested in finding a solution, that each of you will compromise in order to find that solution.

It does not have to be that each party gives up 50%.  Sometimes, one party gives up all, or almost all, because he or she is open to the possibility that doing so is the best solution.

Where children are involved, parents in conflict must always be aware of “Solomon’s dilemma”.  “Tearing the child in half” is the worst possible outcome.

Mediation work with me, is work in listening, in dialogue, in allowing both parties to see each other as caring human beings.  Many come to see me intent on proving they are right and the other person, wrong.

Successful mediation requires moving from who is right to finding the best workable solution for everybody, especially if there are children involved.