Philosophies and practices of education and psychology meet in the public schools, where students, school staff, parents, and psychotherapists act out conflicting conscious and unconscious themes of caring and collaborating vs. depersonalizing and dominating.

This conflict is set on a stage of culture, class, race, ethnicity, and gender.  Here are stories about students, parents, and school staff and our experiences of school and psychotherapy.

When they are young, many students do not acquire sufficient reading, numeracy, and social and emotional skills.  Lagging skills and learning that continue through middle school can lead to high school failure and despair, coupled with either acting out or internalizing behaviors.

Conscious and unconscious uncaring and discriminatory attitudes of school staff can exacerbate problems. And mental health counselors who are limited to individual one-on-one psychotherapy may have insufficient impact.

For most students, school was the best location for them to receive counseling.  Most of them would not have come to meet in an office outside of the school and after school hours.  Also, for many students, issues within school and about school were central; school itself can be conflictual and traumatic.

Many students who were referred to me were not functioning in their classes.  Reasons could include intrusive thoughts generated from current personal issues or trauma histories, previous failures in school, inability to read, to see the board, to listen, to do simple arithmetic, or to sit quietly for 90 minutes.

Sometimes they were in conflict with teachers or administrators who they chose to defy or ignore.  They might view a teacher as authoritarian, elitist, incompetent, racist, disrespectful, or uncaring.  Many were subject to school disciplinary sanctions, which could be an expression of a counterproductive authoritarian philosophy.

Other possible school distractions include being involved in social conflict, tumultuous romantic relationships, or getting bullied due to being perceived as gay, liking the “wrong music”, overweight, or otherwise different and vulnerable.

Some students internalized their distress utilizing coping mechanisms like illegal substances, isolating, cutting, or anorexia / bulimia, while others externalized distress by defying adults, disrupting class, fighting, or destroying property.

I was not a school employee.  This had some advantages for the students and for school staff.  I had no punitive or coercive power, nor was I compelled to share any student information that the student did not want shared with the school.  I worked for the student and I made sure the student understood that.

This relationship made it more likely that the student would trust me, particularly about school matters.  At the same time, I was free to work with school staff, to get information from them which most were happy to offer, and, with the student’s permission, I could also share information with staff.

I did not assume that the students who come to see me were broken or ill and needed fixing or curing.  Rather, I assumed that something in his or her life was not working, usually involving school and /or family or other relationships.  Some combination of skills acquisition for the student, and schedule / curriculum / program adjustment by the school were often helpful.